Shame on Me!

What is going on with me? Why so emotional?

I was sitting at the kitchen table to rest my feet after cleaning up from Sunday's lunch fellowship in our Student Center/Church. I can hear Selah playing on the little boom box in the other room. "Depth of Mercy" played. I had never really listened to the words before but today I did.

Depth of mercy; can there be mercy still reserved for me?

Can my God His wrath forbear me, the chief of sinners, spare?
Heaven find me on my knees; Hear my soul’s impassioned plea
Depth of mercy can there be; Mercy still reserved for me

Then Selah's own rendition and arrangement of "I Surrender All" came on. Growing up in church as a pastor's kid, to me that song is old and out of date, or so I thought, compared to the newer more touching, feel-good songs. The rendition was so heart-felt that the familiar words pricked my heart and made my mind think of the profoundness of the familiar words.

All to Jesus I surrender; Make me, Savior, wholly Thine
Let me feel the Holy Spirit truly know that Thou art mine
I surrender all; I surrender all
All to Thee, my blessed Savior
I surrender all.

I walked over to the little boom box and played again the two songs I just listened to. I got teary eyed. What very powerful words I heard today. The depth of God's mercy for me is unfathomable. Every single day His mercies are new - never out of date, never stale, always fresh. I was crying. I was overwhelmed. God loved me so much that He gave His life for me, a very wretched person with reprobate qualities by nature! The least I can do is to surrender all of me and whatever accompanies my being. Just because I am a missionary and living in a land away from my family and friends doesn't mean I have given my all to God. I still struggle with letting go of so many things in my life. I struggle not once a year, once a month, or once a week. I struggle daily! Why is it so hard to let go and let God take control of all of me knowing He knows best and only has my best interest in mind?

I appeal to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you in view of the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship. [Romans 12:1]

Wow! The Apostle Paul couldn't have said it better! Period. Shame on me if I give God anything less than my all, my whole being!

Don't Get Fooled Again!

Don't get fooled by that little, sweet, innocent face. He's trouble. He makes life really exciting for us. Having three young children at home with no maid or nanny is really not that hard EXCEPT... having a two-year-old. Ha! That's totally another story.

Exciting event in the Weber household: Mom fills up the 10-liter water filter. Baby empties it all. Kitchen is flooded (thank God we have tiled floors!!!). Mom and older boys mop the floor. Kitchen is clean!!!

[January 20, 2010] One day it was a 2-liter water bottle that got emptied inside the fridge. Fridge got cleaned too! I... love how a 2-yr-old's activities force you to clean your house. ;-) Right after that, he threw a NT Bible, a joystick, a place mat, and a sock out the window on to the awning roof. And just now, tried to get into my vanity cabinet. life is exciting for me!
[March 5, 2010] Events that took place in a matter of five minutes while I was eating breakfast: toddler dipped his toy trucks in my tea; toddler got into the spice cabinet; toddler got into plastic container cabinet; toddler colored the kitchen table with yellow and red crayons. I turned around to clean up his mess and he ate my breakfast!!!

[April 11, 2010] Just recently he started throwing crying fits while squeezing the tears out as hard as he can. It's hard not to laugh in front of him. Sometimes, he also pretends he's crying like his older brother, Boom, and then laughs at himself.

Strawberry milk shake mustache
(sorry my lens got fogged up)

Look what he did to my Easter egg dye
when I turned around to dry the eggs!

But then...
there's the irresistible smile and
the hugs and kisses that come with it.
Ahhh! I love this boy and I'm so blessed to be his mommy.