So, here I am, sitting in the gym lobby with flip-flops and a pout on my lips. Nah, you really can't see it on my face but inside me, yes. The boys are in their swimming class. I'm supposed to be working out but I left my running shoes in the house. Dog gone it!
Policy is... You can't leave the premises while your kids are in here. Ed's out playing golf with some guys from our church. I wish I had my Kindle in my backpack so I could at least read a book for 1 1/2 hours! Ugh! But I never bring a book to the gym and I'm not one of those that can read on the treadmill or the spin bike. I just can't keep my balance if I read and run at the same time. Hahaha!
Thankfully, I have my [not so smart] phone with me so I can type and get entertained.
So what's the point of this blah-blah-blah? I got a bad attitude. I'm pouting like a school girl who didn't get her way. More like disappointed with myself. With Ed not around, I can't get myself together. How do single parents do it all? I have become so dependent on my husband.
Back to the question, what's the point of this? One, I need the Holy Spirit to take control of my emotions so I have a better attitude. Galatians 5:22-23 says, "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." When I'm walking in the Spirit, those things will manifest in my life. No questions, no excuses. The opposite of walking in the Spirit is walking in the flesh. Oh, how easy it is for me to revert back into walking in my sinful flesh! Now I'm singing [in my head] Steve Green's "Fruit of the Spirit" song to shake off the pouting and keep the attitude in check.
Two... I should be happy I get a day off from working out. My body probably needs it. I can always do something when I get home to make up for it.
For now, I can go back to the pool and watch the boys swim and see what they've learned in just two weeks of swim lessons.
Thanks for reading this lengthy post.
29 January 2012
I was mad and totally disappointed that I was in tears. My husband responded, "But it's just ice cream, honey! I can get you more."
"But they're closed already, it's already 11PM" I replied. I was really upset because I was looking forward to eating my leftover ice cream from several nights ago. I don't eat it very often so I was reserving it as a treat to myself for eating well and working out all week. But it was gone. My hubby ate it.
"I would have been willing to share if you just asked; but you didn't!" Crucifying him with my tearful accusation.
What is wrong with me! It's just ice cream! No, I'm not pregnant. I just needed sugar. Hahaha! And a better attitude.
For two Sundays, the preaching at church cut me like a two-edged sword to the core of my heart. I was almost in tears during sermon last Sunday. Our Pastor is doing a series on Jesus' Sermon on the Mount from Matthew 5. "Christian Counter Culture," he calls it. Last week and this week, he hammered on how we show on the outside how good we look as Christians but we are rotten inside; how we are fake; how we build facades to hide what we really are inside; how we don't hunger for righteousness; how we like to go with the flow to please people.
I am guilty as charged. To most people, save my family and my close friends, I look good. I like to pretend I'm good. I like to show I got it all together. But I know deep inside I don't. I am just the opposite, in fact. Matthew 5:7 says, "Blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy." Being a child of God I am a recipient of God's mercy and grace. And because of that I ought to show mercy and grace to others. I am a fake. I can't even show mercy to my husband who ate my precious ice cream! I have three little people in my home that look to me, watching how a Christian should live life. When I have a bad attitude, I fail to point them towards Christ. How can I teach my boys how to live a Christian life that's pleasing to God if I don't do it myself? "Oh Lord, have mercy on me because I am a failure." God and I had several conversations regarding a sin issue for the past two months. I am stubborn but His love and grace pursue me.
So, before I finished writing this post, I had to swallow my pride and walk over to my husband and ask for his forgiveness for the way I acted last night about the ice cream. I'll strive to do better.
"Let's go get some more ice cream. Whatever flavor you like." He said.